lestercraft: (I should say something)
Arthur Lester ([personal profile] lestercraft) wrote2022-10-31 05:48 pm
Entry tags:

TLV: IC Inbox



"This is Arthur Lester. I'm not available right now, but do leave a message and I'll find the time. A-a voice message, please."

Text | Audio | Video | Spam


[OOC: Please note Arthur is blind, so audio format is strongly ICly preferred, but by God don't let that stop you]
greatoldjohn: (out: holding hands)

after the flood

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-21 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It doesn't really matter if he's there or if he has to go at top speed towards where he can guess Arthur is. Either way, either option, John's first priority is getting to Arthur and putting his mask against his fingers.

He hates that he hesitates a moment before doing it. He really, truly does. ]


[ It's me. It's... the John you came here with. ]
greatoldjohn: (in: eldritch noises)

Re: after the flood

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-21 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There are never times when John is glad that Arthur can't see. But there are a lot of times when he's glad that Arthur can't see him. It's so much easier to know that the way his mask shivered once Arthur pulls away is something only he's aware of.

He floats away a little himself.

There's a part of him that wants to lash out, that wants to express the hurt and the emptiness and the awfulness that he's feeling with loud words. But the very idea just drains him and he

Can't.

He doesn't have a body, doesn't have tear ducts. Doesn't have a heart to hear thudding in his ears. He has one hand and it's not even his, really. He doesn't know what to do. So he'll just...

Wait.

He fucking hates waiting. ]
greatoldjohn: (out: deep inhale)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-21 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
...well, that's a load of horse shit but I appreciate you saying so.

[ The amount he does not like being on the outside of that stillness can be seen from space. He feels bisected and vivisected, broken into pieces in those and a dozen other ways. ]
greatoldjohn: (in: visions and trauma)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-21 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
And I wasn't talking about the King.

[ Comes out a little sharp. Less sharp than it might have been. ]

...as far as I'm concerned, I'm held to the same promise I made to you in that pit. That wasn't him. That was me.
greatoldjohn: (out: incorporeal)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ Silence. A longer silence. His voice isn't snappish when he answers, but it is... tired. ]

I did fuck all, Arthur. I didn't think that was up for debate.
greatoldjohn: (in: looking over)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
But I know those things now. I can't un-know them. I... I wish you could have trusted me with them in time on our own, even if-

Even if it's clear I didn't deserve it.

[ He growls, but it's at himself. ] I proved I can be a stupid fucking asshole with it.

Which means... that promise holds.
greatoldjohn: (out: the roots)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, I don't accept it!" and that's the first real growl. He realizes what he's doing, how he's making the same fucking mistake again and he pushes his volume down, does his best to settle himself.

"I need to do better. I will do better. You shouldn't have to think your-" his voice falters a little, "you shouldn't have to worry about that. You shouldn't accept it."

greatoldjohn: (in: looking over)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
There's a long silence then.

"Then nothing's changed. I'm still the scorpion on your back."

That shouldn't hurt as much as it does. But part of the reason it does is knowing how he'd fucked up, the terrible mistake he'd made. The ways Arthur was right.

At the same time, there was all of the work he'd done here, all of the ways he'd tried to make their friendship real and not... necessity. Not 'work'. Not Arthur struggling to put up with a thing that he's 'accepted' will hurt him.

Not Arthur probably thinking it's what he deserves.

He tries to push all of the emotion out of his voice as he moves on. He doesn't think they're going to change each other's mind here. And focusing on it-

After all of that, he doesn't have it in him to go at Arthur.

"How far ahead did you go?"
greatoldjohn: (in: looking over)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
"I went farther," he reports. "We were driving to New York in one of Larson's cars."

That's all he says. He'd wanted to say more. He'd wanted to tell him about how it all happened. How he'd made the deal with Kayne. How Arthur had almost bled out. How John had stitched him together.

How they'd saved those people. How he'd trusted Arthur against all logic.

How he knows in that moment in the car, Arthur had trusted him.

But unlike all the suffering, all the mistakes, that doesn't feel real right now. A lot of things don't feel real right now. So he'll stick to the facts.
Edited 2022-12-22 02:55 (UTC)
greatoldjohn: (in: visions and trauma)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
John disagrees. Mostly because now he knows more about what's to come. He knows about Kayne, an entity who has interest in Arthur. He knows about his deal, and about Arthur's. He knows about Yellow.

And because even with all the hardship, all the pain, all the terror, all of everything, at least he was there for Arthur.

"Should I-" he pauses and he doesn't know what he wants to say. He doesn't even know what he can offer. All of the things he's learned and tried here feel insufficient. Childish. "...do you want me to go?"
greatoldjohn: ("...you remember.")

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
There's no hesitation for him either. Because he hadn't needed to see all that to know he'll choose Arthur every time. He's known that for...

Well, rather longer.

He brushes the mask by his fingers before sliding up to settle snug against his left arm as the life returns to it.

That's when he feels like he can say-

[You do save those people in the cave. All of them.

You choose that.
]
greatoldjohn: (out: cuddles)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
[...you were much better after you had an apple.]

Look, it sounds stupid but he'd seen the difference it made. Packed lunches might very well be in Arthur's less horrifying but more immediate future.
greatoldjohn: (out: reading with Arthur)

[personal profile] greatoldjohn 2022-12-22 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
[We'll look out for that. ]

Quiet determination and soft amusement; the usual delight at Arthur's laughter when it isn't at his expense.

[There is one other thing I want to settle. If you think you're up for it.

...it's not a bad thing. At least, I hope not.
]

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