TLV: IC Inbox

[lestercraft]

"This is Arthur Lester. I'm not available right now, but do leave a message and I'll find the time. A-a voice message, please."

Text | Audio | Video | Spam


[OOC: Please note Arthur is blind, so audio format is strongly ICly preferred, but by God don't let that stop you]

Comments

[brushoff]

Yeah, about that.

You know Johann has batshit healing, right? I don't know if he can mysteriously fall ill. Broken bones certainly won't take, but I don't know about poisons.

[lestercraft]

Oh good, you're two of a fucking kind.

Look, Mandrake has- frankly i-it's an active history now, of- of making the best use of limited resources to find ways to truly fuck over people he hates. Knowing this Daniel was scared of the dark, he managed to trap the man in a black-out bag to paralyze him with fear. Knowing someone was non-human with a superior metabolism, he gave them five times a lethal dose of cyanide.

[brushoff]

In that case, you might want to give Archer a call. Because the best way to fuck over Johann? Is to fuck over Florian.

[lestercraft]

I'll keep it in mind.

Though if Mandrake becomes aware that Envy was the one who actually killed him, if that is the case, I should warn his next warden as well.

[brushoff]

Murder by proxy? I do wonder how far up the revenge chain Mandrake will be willing to go.

[lestercraft]

The problem is that Mandrake's idea of what a murder-worthy slight is, is- quite frankly, fucking demented. He believed someone was lying to him because they didn't want to reveal something deeply traumatising about their own status as a non-human, until the option to continue hiding it was forcibly removed from them. Daniel was frustrated and petty at him. I can't guarantee what slight might be the one to tip him over, though being murdered twice by someone certainly sets a higher likelihood.

[brushoff]

Well. In that case, I'll consider myself lucky that I've been open about my immortality since my arrival.

I'll drop a little line in Johann's ear but, knowing Johann, he'll probably be glib and nonchalant about the whole matter until I point out the various ways he could be fucked over that he's essentially overlooking.

[lestercraft]

You're still human, Dorian, that's rather the sticking point. Frankly the fact that you got this power by making a deal with the devil is not points against you, seeing as how the entire magic system in Mandrake's world runs on literal demonic slave labour.

[brushoff]

Lester, if he fucked over Daniel out of simple pettiness, what makes someone who would routinely lie to him any different?

[lestercraft]

Daniel was pointedly tormenting him, which from what Sims told me would have been basic idiotic pettiness towards anyone that didn't take their responses to extremes, and his other target was lying about being human.

[brushoff]

[ There's a moment's pause as Dorian mulls things over. ]

Honestly, I can't blame Mandrake too much for trying to fuck over Daniel. I never liked that prick. He was far too good at hiding actual malice behind wide eyes and perceived incompetence.

And I suppose I should also do the proper wardenly thing and fill you in on what Johann can do at the moment.

[lestercraft]

I don't think I got the opportunity to meet much of him before he left.

...Christ. I'd ask if I need a drink for it but I'm currently watching Mandrake while he's recovering, so. Probably shouldn't. Still, go on.

[brushoff]

Currently Johann has two major tricks. One, ridiculous healing factor, much like mine. Two? He's learning magic. Granted, he's learning magic from Florian who's learning it from Archer so I suspect process will be slow as hell to begin with. But it wouldn't surprise me if he picks up a few defensive tricks along the way.

He doesn't have much in the way of limitations, but he can't do any magic related to his fun little death plague.

[lestercraft]

--I'm sorry, fun little death plague?

[what]

[brushoff]

Ohhhh you don't know that bit.

[ whoops. ]

So, Florian's big evil plan was to release a magic death plague on those who wronged him and wronged his city. Except there's a tiny hitch in his big evil plan: Florian is exceedingly killable. So when he bit it, he transferred his magic, death plague included, into Johann, bidding Johann to continue what he started. Which if he want home, I suspect Johann would do that instantly because those two are hilariously co-dependent.

[lestercraft]

[There's silence for a few seconds.

And then shuffling clothes as Arthur stands.]

No, fuck you. I'm getting that drink after all.

[brushoff]

If it helps, I'm well aware this is complete bullshit.